Razor's Edge

Chronicle 2: I was travelling to the National Fishkill Writer's Weekly Conglomerate of Colligans when I realised that in order to properly exhibit my intellectual linguistics, I would need to shave my mustache. Unfortunately, its become apparent that no one respects me when I have pubic hair growing under my nasal passages. I deftly unwrapped the #3 razor from the package that had rested so neatly under the sink in my bathroom for the past ten years. As I turned it on its edge to study it, I realized there was yet a better use for this blade, then trimming my manly mustache.

I could kill myself!

However, that would permanently holster my manpleaser, and all the world would surely cry.